Not this Time!!

Pottermania is back again.... All potterphiles would be rushing to the movie halls and would enjoy.. for the ones who have read all the book would not enjoy much cos movies can just show half as wats there in de book. when i was back at home and when harry potter movie releases i would be there "first day, first show"... I remember how crazy I was(now even more crazier due to this place) could go and scream when the movie starts and in the end my voice wud be so damn broken tat i cant speak any longer and just this faint shrill comes out... DiRa, my school frnd, used to join me and we wud watch the movie together... The first 4 movies i saw first day first show with her but later the fifth movie i was there in coll... you wudnt believe, i saw the fifth movie harry potter n the order of phoenix in tamil... There was this bunch of first years who we ragged(oops! it isnt allowed, was just gettin to know them, sounds nice isnt it? Thnx to Akx) and asked them to sponsor our lunch and those chaps wanted to go to movie so we tot why not? Movie and Lunch, Thats how i saw the movie in tamil and twas horrrible.. The movie wasnt grt and the tamil dialogues made us puke... It very funny when they cast "Accacio Brooms" for gettin their brooms and it comes out in tamil as "Konduvaa Thodapam"..

But this year i cant watch it at all.... There are no english movie releases here and frankly speakin if it comes in Hindi, i wud definuly not go.. I cant go thru it... I dont want the first person to die by watchin harry potter movie...

Around the world in 5 minutes....

Today we know that earth is round and we know that earth moves around the Sun. Thanks to Aristotle for drinking poison to prove it!!! (or was it Socrates who drank it??? !!@#$%) well.. who cares any more.. Ever looked at the present earth?? People whine around with words like Global warming, temperature change, monsoon (beating around the bush to say that it is screwed up at the moment!!) So, the fact that earth is 30% land & 70% water was known to humans & we started exploring that 30% . We got lost n found new places ( remember how Columbus reached America??) & how many times poor Vasco did the parikrama to reach India?? It was a hard thing to explore and discover places..

But now with Google earth, i not only see the globe but also the street n yeah, the "naal roadu" (crossroads) in Thanjavur..In earlier days, Indians considered it to be a sin to step out of India.

"Dusht paapi.. tune ye kya kiya??? hindutva ko kalankit kar diya moorkh!!" n in worst cases the mother will say," Ghar ka diya ghar ki chaukhat chod ke padosi ko roshani dene ja raha hai!!!" (as if her son was so very enlightening!!) but our Ramanujan was great.. How beautifully his mother dreamt of the goddess coming in her dreams and asking to allow her son to fly out of India?? simply mind blowing you know!! :p People accepted to work as sweepers in America but would not move their ass in India.. gosh..

And then Slowly times changed and there was this favorite topic of debate in each and every school- "BRAIN DRAIN!" ( i wrote the same essay for 3 whole years !!)

i remember asking my uncle to buy me one of those american chocolates. but no, it would brain wash me in settling in the U.S. permanently..so no foreign chocolates,,"beta, yeah poppins lele.. its big n colourful see.." n if i refused, then he would buy Polo.. (n now dat polo is also reduced to holes of Polo..!!)News channels would make a hue-n-cry over the same..

then slowly times changed and Shops n markets in India started getting names such as "China bazaar, burma bazaar, Paris corner..." In my 6th standard, my friend once said-"My uncle bought this watch from Dubai!!" ( Cursing him, while holding the identical twin of that watch in hand!! now now..which country shud i name cuz my 6th standard geography was too weak....) n i would end up saying "My mamaji got this from china" n to prove it, i would show the back of the watch n lo- "made in China!!" (happy having used my wits..)

we accepted that it is after all not that big a sin to visit foreign lands. We started going to U.S, Australia, Malaysia, n favourite of all indians- Singapore...And we became so advanced that we would visit Singapore just to shop in the annual sale that had gained world wide popularity..

And then started this boasting and showing off spree.. Below are a few characteristics of a typical Indian who returns from America.. (in descending order of observance)

17. Uses Nope for No and Yep for Yes.

16. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.

15. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious.

14. Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.

13. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

12. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
Says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says " Free Way " instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven
Zero Four)

11.Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.

10. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)

9. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).

8. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)

7. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.

6.. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.

5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".

4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.

3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.

Ultimate one:
1. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in US..."

After such show offs, when it is time to chat with a friend online, I get this reply..

Me: "Hey how was your Malaysia trip??? :) "

Him: "well.. shreeeenuuu, it was sorta ok.. :( Sydney was better you know"

Me: oh!! (wondering any place could be better than thanjavur! n wat difference does it make.. sydney, malaysia.. all seems d same to me.. out of INDIA!!)

Him: I went to Singapore and then to Malaysia.. thats y I did not like it.. :(

Me: oh.. but I tot it was nice to be there you know.. But my favourite is Paris.. Would love to go there once..

Him : Yeah, i had been to paris last summer after visiting my cousin in Egypt.. We planned to visit Switzerland because it was near it..

Me: heyy, i know geography..(trying to convince dat i improved after 6th standard!!)

Him: Yeah yeah.. have been there too..

Me: !@#$%^& (guess mine is better!!)

But yeah.. having said everything, i am sure about one thing.. Technology has advanced so much that we sit and chat and roam around the world in "Just 5 mins" :)

what the #?@%!!

yesterday evening had finished my work earlier than usual and was leaving... This Phd student, lets call him perve, well out of all names why this, just read on, took me wanted to eat cutlet and wanted me to accompany him. I was hungry too so i went along. There is famous cutlet shop here in katra and perve took me there. It was so hot so we ate outside wanted to avoid the heat inside. there were two girls who finished and were leaving the shop. Me being a gentleman( a bet there'll be lots of debate for this) paved way for them to leave b moving back. But perve dint do the same. He kept standing there. No place for the girls to move so they gently moved away but but while doin so, perve's hand just rubbed with the girl's and created more friction than necessary.. The girl got furious , obviously which Indian girl wudnt, started to lambaste him.. perve behaved as if he dint know what happended... This girl shouted back sayin she'll slap and tat his senses would be back... Guess what happened.... perve got pissed and went for her neck.. he started to strangle her and the girls were shocked.. More than them i was shocked.. I mean i hvnt seen such a thing in my entire life.. i have seen men beating up girls but that was due to the effect of alcohol... here this guy was in his senses but behaved like a psycho... He started to strangle her... the other girl started to dial emergency police number... the shopowner then intervened and stopped him... He then apologised to the girl and told them to leave... This perve on the other hand started jutifying his actions to the owner and i was shocked... i mean fightin verbally is fine but trying to strangle is way out of the limits.. Those girls infact dint leave.. they stood three shops away and were staring at perve.. One hell of an experience...

Share Autos

People use shareautos here for travelling. its the best way of commuting from one place to another.. its cheap and you can get down in the place of your choice too. so i too use for travellig to civil lines where i can buy my weekly food stock and shop too. but my experiences in shareautos are worth mentioning. the first time i went was pathetic. there were more people than the seat capacity. we sat there lik abducted hostages, so congested. at some times they were drunkards and at times or rather most times ppl who chew pan were next to me. They strongly smell of pan and its so nauseating. its mixed with cigarette or beedi smell and i cant stand it.. so i thought it will be better sitting in the front... In the front, one has to sit next to the driver.. two can be accomodated. the most unluckiest it the middle one... the auto gear will be between his legs and so the driver has to push it and use it... GOD!! its so close to your private jewels.. and you wont know when the gear knob wil hit your knobs.. that was the last time i sat there... i can bear the nauseating foul smell than the invasion of my .... well u kno wat!!
if u are lucky enuf you will get autos which has no speakers and so no loud music... once when i was returning to my hostel from civil lines i sat in an auto where songs were being played. i thought it would be pleasant to listen to songs and sit.. as soon as the auto started de driver increased the volume, he increased the volume so high that it resounded in the entire road. somthin was wrong with the tape i guess, the music and the singing was not in resonance. it sounded like thundering logs. My head was on a ride... I couldn bear it so got down a stop before.

what a MESS!

I am talking about my hostel mess in international hostel... at first i was not aware that it was optional. I thought it was compulsory and i paid cash immediately cos i had to eat the same i joined. I hated the mess, i mean it was where all these people in the hostel started throwin weird looks at me and start askin my details and where i am from. So it was weird for me to go mess and eat. So always i went at 8 sharp and ate so that i could avoid all the stares and questions... And the food not to mention was watery.. they gave roti everytime and some dal which was so watery... it was like eating roti dipped in water.. as days went i got used to it.. at some days they give custard or jamuns.. have to mention that the custard is awesum.. they serve it hot and its a delicacy for the students here..... there is also an option between paneer and chicken..
And the ppl became friendly... have such funny discussions and they keep pulling each others leg and teasing and if there's any new girl joined in their batch, then there is this detail analysis of her.. sometimes if tey dont have any discussions then they talk about chennai. I must tell you these ppl love chennai. I was quite surprised.. i thought they'll critise saying madrasi and comment, but i was completely taken aback when they said they liked the way food is served in banana leaf and the fact that bus conductors understand hindi. Everyone started to say about their experience in chennai.. infact quite a few learned some new tamil sentences from me... hilarious the way they pronounce the words...

Good Bye King of Pop!!

As i had previously mentioned i went to watch Michael Jackson's memorial... It took place at Staples centre, LA... What an event... MJ wud never had dreamt of such a farewell to him.. hoardes of ppl were standing outside the centre and watchin it in on large screens.. Thank god there is TV here in the hostel so i cud catch it live on BBC... It started with bringin his coffin to the centre by his brothers... Smokey gave a speech and read messages from Nelson Mandela and others who cudnt make it... Songs by Mariah carey, Jennifer Hudson, Jermaine Jackson, Shaheen Jafargoli... followed by speeches from Brooke Shields n Queen Latifah n Shiela n Marther Luther King III followed by kobe bryant... it was amazing.. wonderful coordination... surprisingly the media dint show any footage of the "Wacko Jacko" but instead came united to send him the warmest of all farewells which will be marked in history....

Although i wasnt a great fan of his music, my bro was... He used to listen to it everytime and i was forced to listen... and thanks to him.. I started loving it.. i mean Thriller, Bad and Dangerous was the best according to me... i can still hear Dangerous and its music even now.. .. Thanks to Michael, he cumpletely revolutionized Pop and brought ppl of all color, race and ethnicity together.... I cannot forget the days where my bro n myself would watch his moonwalk and wud try to imitate the same, well neither of us got it.... My bro loved his Blood on the dance floor album and would keep hummin the lyrics.. well now im singing it " Susie got ur number and susie aint your friend... Look who took you under with seven inches in... Blood is on the dance floor blood is on the knife" Unforgettable..... twas a spectacular service and ppl were glued to their TV sets...one thing i must say is the way Usher sang.. i guess its the best he has done till date despite having hit records.. In the end all the living legends came to the rostrum and sang "Heal the world"..
Got goosebumps... Amazing.... later Jermaine and Jason conveyed their love to MJ... they broke down completely.... The one thing which made me cry was Paris Jackson... She said "Ever since i was born he has been the best daddy i can ever imagine....i just wanna i love you so much" and she started to weep.. Janet hugged her and consoled.. that little child made the world to weep even more.. It meant so much to her..Finally the greatest memorial came to an end... No matter if he is dead, his songs will always be listened to and he'll never ever be forgotten.... He is the King of Pop..

Day to remember!!

I guess this will be one of the days that ll definuly remember as days passes.... The starting was just as any other day... got up late cos had watched a movie de previous nite and twas about vampire blood and werewolves so cudn resist watchin it.. So had to rush to the lab the next day.. On reaching the lab, well power failure.... power cuts are from 10 to 1 here but there wasnt power when i reached lab... gone... i thought " wat a wonderful start".... Cudnt do a thing without the power so had to wait till then.. sharp 2 o clock the power came and started rushing with my work cos had to attend a Bhajan in the evening cos twas Guru purnima... phew record break!! Four and a half hours of continuos work.. practically dint even take a sec to catch my breath... later rushed to my room to get ready for the Bhajan... well sir, sir here refers to a Phd student, told me he will pick me so i dint bother to ask any details about the venue of the Bhajan.... so he took me to the Hanuman temple which was supposed to be the venue as per sir's knowledge.... There was no bhajan there albeit there was sumthin goin in the temple so went inside to see... but someone was giving a discourse on Indian ethics and some crap lik that.. I mean cmon... we are in generation next where ppl watch Madonna's divorce instead of news on Iraq war or Chinese stampede.... well i so wished my Math sir was here.. he would flown to Heaven directly by hearing this guys speech.. He was so articulate and exaggerating about India and its ethics....

Despite becoming late tried called Proffy to know where the venue was.. But his fone switched OFF... Okay so this is the time to go out and we left for civil lines which is the best place here in this town.. oops sorry, City........ A very famous sweet stall called Kamadhenu opened its door for us and had lassi.... wanted to go up and sit and taste all the sweets cos this was the first time i went there... whenever i go there i.e on sundays ppl just throng the place and i dont feel lik gettin in cos it becomes nauseating... but the top place was closed for renovation work... Sir told me he'll take me to the best place which makes Pani puri... well my mouth started waterin.. as soon as we reached the place we hurried cos there were lots of ppl... i was waiting for some guy who took 10 min to finish eating his pani puri.. next was my turn and guess wat , the puri got over and so had to take some tomato chat which dey call here as Tikiya... just took 2 small spoons and i started to Hiccup... seriously twas that hot that i kept Hiccupin till i reached my place..... at this time i have to somethin funny... thanks to Hiccups it reminded me of my frnd DA who always gets hiccups during class hours... she gets it continusly and our crazy gang starts laughin... even if she drinks water it wont subside for her.....well she's one of a kind!!

Later came to my room and wanted to charge my fone cos it had zero charge... but my charger wasnt workin.. i have already scrwed up ma fone's pin so using a external universal charger and now this too has gone... went to a telecom stores and got another one.. i tot day is over so i can go and study for GRE... but there was no power.. completely fed up with this sporadic power cuts.. so just made a turn and went into Mumfordganj... i wanted to drink mango juice.. i mean i just got the urge to drink it and was so desparate to get hold of it.. well all the shops were closed or rather on the verge of shuttin the shutter... so cycled around for sometime and came back... went to ma room and kept for charge and i left to watch MJ's funeral.....