Story of my last exam

I wrote the last exam of my college life and this LAAST exam became the most memorable one. The usual me gets up and goes to college. whistling and enjoying the nature. no last minute revision no cribbing about not covering syllabus. I was happy that my exams and college life is coming to an end today. But I was not aware of what was in the store. I was travelling in the bus when a lecturer of my college says to me," You should be revising for your exams rather than whistling. Today's youth waste so much energy, roam around aimlessly. is this what they teach you at home? What a shame n...d usual bla bla tat u get to hear from an old frustrated lecturer" I m usually polite but when it comes to lecturers who act smart and start lecturing you on your behavior, i loose my temper.

I politely reply," I KNOW you are a lecturer, but that doesn't mean you start giving one in the bus!" .silence. he mumbles something all the journey n my mood is off. Seriously, they dont know the time and place to lecture you on your behavior n mistakes. God knows what pleasure they derive out of it.

My exam starts at 9.30. I go check my hall plan and see my roll number 011155023 on board. I saw the numerals 111055023 and proceed. It was almost 9.37 when i reached the hall. I go to the invigilator and... fate has its own way of screwing you.. it is the same bus guy!! We exchange furious glances and I take my place silently.

I have a gut feeling that something is wrong. i look around. the girl before me and girl behind me. Are they my classmates? i dunno.. i dont remember. I am a good guy who doesn't get acquainted to the girls of my class. ;P We were distributed the question papers and i feel happy cuz i know the answers for the first time!!! yay!:D

i try to sneak-peak at the paper of the girl before me n holy shit! the handwriting is different today. it is not the one i was looking at for the past 4 year!

Me: "excuse me, i was wondering if you have sprained your hand!"

She: " no, why?"

Me:"no ur handwriting looks like chicken crap to me today"

She gives me one of those furious looks just when i was interrupted by another guy.

HE:" i guess this is my seat!"

Me:" :-o". I KNEW something was wrong the instant i saw her handwriting but my nightmare came true when this guy demands for his place! i panic n sweat.

Meanwhile, the girl who who usually sits behind me(my true classmate) is cursing me.

She-2 : " What the hell, question 1 ok 2ok.. 3 FISH!!!.. where the hell is this shrini!

i run to my life. i pick my scale, pencil, rubber, sharpener, drop my pen, fetch it, black pen, bag n for some odd reasons the stupid invigilator is behind my ass. I KNOW, I KNOW, i made a mistake. this is not the time to lecture on it u dumb idiott! somebody tell him to go away!! to escape his lecture on the issue i avoid him n keep running. where do i go, where do i check the hall plan. i run and find this cursing classmate waving at me frm inside the hall.. i run n pick my answer sheet. to ensure tat i m in the right hall i peek at the answer sheet of the girl sitting in front. and Whattey relief! Phew. This is it!!

without wasting my time i start answering. but that invigilator comes to this room. the thing that runs in my mind is,"You old hag i know my mistake, now why dont u leave , n do a better job"

He comes n with a demanding tone says, " give the question paper! x-( useless fellow. Dunno from where these people come from."

ME:" a whaaaat?!!!" realization dawns! "

i sigh..oh FISH!

i hear the girl behind me murmuring something which oddly sounded like " yeah tell tat tell tat"

c'mon wats wrong wid her. why is she asking me to swear again. Did he piss her off too?! my adrenaline rushes n i say FISH FISH FISH!

She-2: i know dat.. tell it to me..

i wonder whats wrong with her.

i did not want to leave my question paper. i knew d answers.. with a brief tug-of-war, i let it go. :(

I am handed a new paper and... crap.. what is this.. is it my subject?! i try to reason it out but ill fate. it was indeed my question paper. For some reasons i found previous paper simple. I look at the questions...

1 ok, 2 ok.. 3- Define FISH. crap nonsense.. since when did they start defining this?! n then i turn back n questioningly ask the girl for the last time. FISH??

and she says, "forget it.."

. the end.

N yeah, the following also happened! :

Making onion soup...at 1:39 a.m.

Me: (with all my enthusiasm)“Su..shall I make onion soup for you??”

Sis: (Watching one sad tamil movie becuz its tamil new year.. n doesnt have control over the remote.. and dad wont budge..)"Anything is fine with me”

The movie was really really horrible.. and without her knowledge

she started weeping!!! Holy crap. when did she start crying.. now tears rolling down her cheek uncontrollably.

Sis: "could you please cut those stupid onions in the other room?? its burning my eyes!"

Me:"How about me sitting in your room with A/c on??"

Sis:"Dont you ever do that!" now please go away.. i will cry to death"

Me:"ok i will finish it soon.."

Tears continue to roll.. n still continues.. n she continues to weep further..

Sis:" WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING ??"

Me:"Texting my friend..He is coming here tomo.."

Sis:"You can do that after u r done with the onions!!"

Me:"I thought i can cut some extra onions for more soup.. i just read the recipe on the internet.. may be he will also like it!!"

Sis:"Crap.. finish it off soon.. atleast dont text when u r cutting onions"

She is crying.. weeping.. crying.. wondering how many litres of tears can her eyes produce..

Sis:" What r u doing re??"

Me:"Texting him..he says he lovesssss onion soup..with extra onions in it.. so i am going to cut few more.."

Sis:"Whaaaaaaaat???"

Before she could speak, dad gave her d remote..Finally remote in her hand.. Starts to watch this movie-Super hero movie!!! Now she laughs so hard that more tears add to the ones that were already flowing..

She finally gets wet with tears..All the while she did not pay attention to what I was doing. She turns back to see (teary eyed) if I am done with the onions n lo...

Sis:(shouts!)"hOW ON EARTH CAN YOU SLEEP WITH A PLATE FULL OF ONIONS NEXT TO YOU???"

Me:"Sorry, i dozed off watching that movie! Did not understand what was so funny.."

Sis:" I dont want your soup.. anyways you have been cutting onions for hours from now.. its already 12.. m going to sleep"

Me(pleading):"Please please.. taste it n tell.. i will make it in just 5 minutes"

Sis:"Well, thats exactly what you said at 7 in the eve.. "

Me:"Enough.. no arguements. Eat or you will die"

Sis:(anyways thats what will happen even after i eat..)” You mean drink that!!.. right!!

Tears still rolling down her cheeks cuz I was roasting onions.. n phew.. finally it stopped.. Something smells good.. something smells really really good.. the smell increases my apetite..

Me:"Pa para paaaaa.. onion soup mademoiselle .."

Sis:"thank you sire..:) :) :)"

She peeps inside the bowl..

Sis:"You said you are making soup..Where is it??"

Me:"Dont try to act smart.. just eat it.. x-( "

Sis:(So he meant it when he said "eat ".weeps again..).."Dint anyone tell my dear brother that soup is to be drunk n not to be eaten??? And what is this black black thing.. soup mein kuch kala!!!"

Me:"Actually i tried to saute the onion but flame was too high..so it got burnt!!"

Sis:"IS THIS HOW YOU TREAT THE ONIONS YOU CUT FOR HOURS!!!!!! (she starts crying again.. feeling bad for onion n for herself I guess!!"

Me:"C'mon.. taste n tell me"

She:"Taste what? soup is missing.."

Me:"ok then.. taste the onion.. which is not burnt.."

I imagined her plucking her hairs and running down the street.. she gulps. "Its good"

Me:"Really.. i will make more of it then.. He said he will like it if u certified it.. la lala laa..tra la la la.. i am making more soup.."

Sis:"!@#$%^&*.....shri.. its 1:39.. dont you think you should have mercy on our neighbors??"

Me:"ok .. i will cut the onions n will sleep..okie?? :) :)"

She goes to her room with head hung.. please go to sleep..

Today morning....

Mom:"Where are the onions su??? i need to make brkfast!!"

sis:"Check the basket ma.. it was there last night.. i saw.."

Mom:"Its empty.. by d way what is there in that big pan??" She opens.. both of them peep in it.. And...

HOLY SHIT@!@ (in unison!!)

Mom:"Dont you know its 40 ruppes per kg in the market? And it was solid One and a half kilos there in the basket!!"

Sis:"Why yelling at me?? he only made it!!"

Mom:"he said you instructed him!!"

Me:"Whaaaaaaaaaatttt!!#$*)"

Mom:" i have always told you not to do it.. Why do you waste things.. who is going to clean the crap.. even the street dog will sniff it and run away.."

Now i understood why mom was silent yesterday.. the dog sniffing dialog was there in her genes..but why didnt i use it?? XX factor i guess...

Sis searches for her bro to beat.. But cant.. cuz i was in deep sleep..she wonders what m i dreaming??

Sis:”Shri.. get up.. u will get late to coll!!”

Me:(sleepily)”Don’t disturb.. I m making soup for you..!!”

Sis:”(weeps)”shri, don’t you think you should pity me.. atleast spare me in your dreams man!!(weeps)

Calling the celebrity who was sitting in the loo...

So here is the incidence..

Many times they showcase the celebrity talks on tv after a successful movie. This time it was Paiyya. My sister being a biiiig fan of karthi had crossed her limits. Kept his photo as her fb profile pic, pasted his posters, sings the song day n night.. infact started calling her female friends as -"hey mama, enna panra!!" (the punch dialog in that movie!)... so it is obvious for such a fan to call n talk to the celebrity on tv show, if given a chance. n yes, the chance was given..but partially...

Karthi, Tamanna n Mr.Lingusamy were on air, where they interact with the other commoners. My sister kept trying to get the chance... n all the while, the reply was- busy, busy, busy.. dad got fed up & started trying the no. from our landline.. she used all her means to get connected.. but disappointments...dad went to kitchen to be a dutiful father of two (mom not at home so dad's cooking today!)... And that's when i get into the room n dial my phone no. (whenever i misplace my mobile i dial it from my landline n start searching for it) phew.. finally got it.. who threw my mobile under the bed??? anyways, who cares. i place back the receiver n go to the loo.... with my mobile!!!

dad resumes to his calling.. n presses redial.. n lo.. there goes the ring!!!

tring tring tring....

Dad: Suryaaaaaaaaa.. its ringing finally...

Surya runs like a P.t Usha clone.. breathless like shankar mahadevan.. runs all the dialogs in her mind.. "how ar eu karthi, i m a big fan, movie was such a rocking piece n...."

disappointment... cuz nobody picks the call...

Surya: I think they are talking to each other dad.. that is y they dint pick it.. hard luck pa..

Dad: Dont worry sweetheart... my hands are lucky, i will dial again.. (he redials)

tring tring tring....

Dad: eureka!!! see..

Surya: breathless again.. reruns all her dialogs n statements in her mind.. and..

Phone: Hello..

Surya: hello.. i m surya from tanjavur..

Phone: I know all that.. i m in the loo now.. we wil discuss all tat after i come out...

Surya: (Puzzled at first!!... n then realization dawns.. (it takes more than a minute for girls to understand things u know!) .... finally fuming!!!)....grrrrrrr... looks at dad wid ferocious red eyes..

dad: i can see some fumes n smokes.. i guess i left something on flame in the kitchen.. brb..

i come out of the loo and see a sudden change in my sister's avatar!!!

Now sitting here blue eyed n one hand factured m typing all this with one little finger of mine...

moral of the story: dont take your phone with you in the loo...

p.s- i wont be able to post anything new for few days as the little finger will also be broken by her when she reads this!!! :(

DAKSHIFIED!!!!

so here i am.. after a long long time... well.. i was quite busy enjoying DAKSH-2010.. the national level tech fest of our college.. Being the cluster head wasn't an easy job..but wid wonderful set of friends, it became a cake walk..

3 days passed by so quickly.. there were so many fun filled events, food court, laser show etc that i thoroughly enjoyed. Got dakshified in the true sense.. you can find details about it at www.daksh.sastra.edu

So i thought i could share some funny moments i had in these 3 days.. we had many prelims for various events. i was correcting the answers for some events and here is a glimpse of it...

Ques- You & your friend are captured by UFO and dropped in a cold uninhabited island. what would you do for food??

(Now any normal and sane person would write- hunting, fishing etc. but there was this typical answer that left me dumbstruck!)

Ans- A friend in need is a friend indeed... One would sacrifice himself for the other..

Me- :-o !@#$%^&)

Ques-Why does a dog turn around several times before lying down? Also, why does it keep its tongue out while breathing

Ans- It is a form of prayer that dog does to pray dat nobody disturbs its sleep!!! It keeps its tongue out looking at bitch!!!

Ques- What is the most important part of sandwich? (the model for plasma membrane)

Ans- Me... You, me and your friend!!!!

Ques- Why is DNA double helical?

Ans- It got bored being single..so went to date and ended up being double!!!!

Ques- Which travels faster?? Hot electrons or cold electrons??and why??

Ans- Hot..becuz... its ASS is on fire!!!!

There were so many such answers.. though i am not bale to recollect them now.. but had an awesome time reading them.. now i feel how our lecturers feel.. its not a burden after all to read our answers ;)

Was it a dream????????

Lecturer- "Shrini, are u ready with your seminar?"

Me- ( is he nuts? i already took it yesterday.. oww wait wait .. was it the dream?? oh mann i had performed so well.. ahh, it definitely was a dream.. reason- lecturer was wearing a saree..!!! shit.. ) " yes sir".wait. did i prepare for it in reality???? what is the topic???

Well, this is what has been happening with me for the past few days. Lecturers stop teaching and load us with seminars.. I was too overloaded.. If only i had been named Herbie, i could use- "Herbie fully loaded" the only thing that was common b/w me n Herbie was, seminars were DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!

Amidst all these confusions, i woke up this monday morning at 4 with a sudden gasp.. fish.i forgot to prepare for today's seminar.. spent the sunday watching movie.. wtf.. i log on to the computer with delirium .. all my brain instructed was- switch on to the internet IMMEDIATELY!!!! and dats what i did.. but wait.... WHAT IS THE TOPIC???? b4 that... WHAT SUBJECT DUDE???? it took me a minute to realise what was happening.. i was again dreaming about taking one seminar.. oh no.. not again.. i somehow managed to surf through some topics for safe side.. I reach college.. I happen to cross that lecturer..

After struggling with lots of should & shouldn't, i managed to ask him

Me-" Sir, I was wondering if you had asked me to take seminar on sterilisation quipments"

Him-"!@#$%^*. No shrini..We are not having seminar on family planning. ha ha.." (the poorest joke i ever heard u know!)

Me-Phew. thank god. i am safe. weakly smiling for his so called joke.

Him-"You were supposed to take on infectious disease of Type 4 safety level and recombinant vector vacines for them"

Me-"Type 4 Whaaaaat???????"!@#$%^&*()

Just a second...

There is this famous saying, "Time & tide waits for none"..well.. who gives a shit to the tide unless it strikes me in the form of tsunami.. time.. well over the years many changes have come up.. with time people change, many new words get added to dictionary n lots of things happen.. & one such thing is the value of time. if I ask you how long is one second, what would be your answer???????

Well.. It varies from person to person & here are a few examples

1) My alarm goes off in the morning at 6 and i put to snooze n say to myself "i will get up in one second only to find out that its already 8 & its too late to take bath now.. so I decide to spray the deo n get ready in another "SECOND" (which roughly takes 15 minutes!)

2) My mom doesnt allow me to step out of house empty stomach.. she always wants me to have breakfast but the problem is, the breakfast doesnt get ready on time.. mom-" cheenu, it will be ready in one second..jus wait for one second.. eat it in a second n go.. u will reach college in a second!!!"

2) i reach college(ofcourse in 20 minutes..gosh did u actually believe my mom???..even the fastest jet wont take me to coll in one second!) and find out that my friend is in similar situation (happy to have a company at last) He asks me to hold his books for "A SECOND" so that he can tie his shoe lace n i find out that the second was stretched till we reach the class..

3) i raise a doubt in the lecture n she says..Just a second.. i will refer and tell you tomorrow!!!!( wow..i never knew dat one day had one second.. who the fuck teaches that there are 86400 seconds in a day???")

4)We friends assemble in 11.10 break and my friend gets a phone call n he asks for excusing him for a second.." hey..wil b back in a second k" n the phone call takes away the whole break time..

5)on the phone call, his girl friend starts the convy & in between another gal crosses her.. this girlfriend then says,"hey sweety..jus gimme a second k." poor guy waits in dilemma for another half an hour only to hear d convy of those two gals abt the new footwear she is wearing!!!! or some bitching abt some other girls for another second!!!

6)i take a seminar and promise that i will conclude it in one second..(oh c'mon every one knows hw much is one second..!)

so i finally end my day and come back home.. recently there had been a fest where we were getting pizza and burgers for 3 days(thankfully this wasnt for a second).. i happened to parcel it for my sister.. she was going to tell me a story (school level gossip) in one second and i popped up this parcel of pizza and burger.. trust me, she almost fainted!!! poor girl.. n she said- "Cheenu, wil tell u the details now..jus gimme a second to recover..but she did stick to the time n resumed back.. :) i patiently heard her story which was slightly modified..cuz all i could here was "GGaaaa gaa boooobooo gooo babooo shooo thaaaa" what else do u hear wen a person stuffs the burger n tries to speak!! did u think my ear got stuffed with wax n needs cleaning????

now she had this love and affection flowing for me cuz of this noble gesture of mine.. so she decided to make a glass of cold drink(tang) "Shri , i will get a tangy glass made for u in just a second.. but this time, she dint stick to it.. i kept waiting for an hour and resorted to sleep.. i called her to get a pillow for me.. she said.."hey pl wait for a second n sleep.. i have already made 2 glasses of it" she does gets me d pillow but not the juice.i slept n got up next morning to find out that she slept near the glass of juice!! i think she must have decided to doze off for a second and ended up stretching it whole night!!!!!

so tell me..how long is a second???? :)

Around the world in 5 minutes....

Today we know that earth is round and we know that earth moves around the Sun. Thanks to Aristotle for drinking poison to prove it!!! (or was it Socrates who drank it??? !!@#$%) well.. who cares any more.. Ever looked at the present earth?? People whine around with words like Global warming, temperature change, monsoon (beating around the bush to say that it is screwed up at the moment!!) So, the fact that earth is 30% land & 70% water was known to humans & we started exploring that 30% . We got lost n found new places ( remember how Columbus reached America??) & how many times poor Vasco did the parikrama to reach India?? It was a hard thing to explore and discover places..

But now with Google earth, i not only see the globe but also the street n yeah, the "naal roadu" (crossroads) in Thanjavur..In earlier days, Indians considered it to be a sin to step out of India.

"Dusht paapi.. tune ye kya kiya??? hindutva ko kalankit kar diya moorkh!!" n in worst cases the mother will say," Ghar ka diya ghar ki chaukhat chod ke padosi ko roshani dene ja raha hai!!!" (as if her son was so very enlightening!!) but our Ramanujan was great.. How beautifully his mother dreamt of the goddess coming in her dreams and asking to allow her son to fly out of India?? simply mind blowing you know!! :p People accepted to work as sweepers in America but would not move their ass in India.. gosh..

And then Slowly times changed and there was this favorite topic of debate in each and every school- "BRAIN DRAIN!" ( i wrote the same essay for 3 whole years !!)

i remember asking my uncle to buy me one of those american chocolates. but no, it would brain wash me in settling in the U.S. permanently..so no foreign chocolates,,"beta, yeah poppins lele.. its big n colourful see.." n if i refused, then he would buy Polo.. (n now dat polo is also reduced to holes of Polo..!!)News channels would make a hue-n-cry over the same..

then slowly times changed and Shops n markets in India started getting names such as "China bazaar, burma bazaar, Paris corner..." In my 6th standard, my friend once said-"My uncle bought this watch from Dubai!!" ( Cursing him, while holding the identical twin of that watch in hand!! now now..which country shud i name cuz my 6th standard geography was too weak....) n i would end up saying "My mamaji got this from china" n to prove it, i would show the back of the watch n lo- "made in China!!" (happy having used my wits..)

we accepted that it is after all not that big a sin to visit foreign lands. We started going to U.S, Australia, Malaysia, n favourite of all indians- Singapore...And we became so advanced that we would visit Singapore just to shop in the annual sale that had gained world wide popularity..

And then started this boasting and showing off spree.. Below are a few characteristics of a typical Indian who returns from America.. (in descending order of observance)

17. Uses Nope for No and Yep for Yes.

16. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.

15. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious.

14. Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.

13. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

12. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
Says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says " Free Way " instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven
Zero Four)

11.Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.

10. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)

9. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).

8. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)

7. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.

6.. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.

5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".

4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.

3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.

Ultimate one:
1. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in US..."

After such show offs, when it is time to chat with a friend online, I get this reply..

Me: "Hey how was your Malaysia trip??? :) "

Him: "well.. shreeeenuuu, it was sorta ok.. :( Sydney was better you know"

Me: oh!! (wondering any place could be better than thanjavur! n wat difference does it make.. sydney, malaysia.. all seems d same to me.. out of INDIA!!)

Him: I went to Singapore and then to Malaysia.. thats y I did not like it.. :(

Me: oh.. but I tot it was nice to be there you know.. But my favourite is Paris.. Would love to go there once..

Him : Yeah, i had been to paris last summer after visiting my cousin in Egypt.. We planned to visit Switzerland because it was near it..

Me: heyy, i know geography..(trying to convince dat i improved after 6th standard!!)

Him: Yeah yeah.. have been there too..

Me: !@#$%^& (guess mine is better!!)

But yeah.. having said everything, i am sure about one thing.. Technology has advanced so much that we sit and chat and roam around the world in "Just 5 mins" :)

Oops..its the window seat again!!!

I travelled to trichy today to get back my lap top.. i had given it for servicing but unfortunately, the jouney turned out to be fruitless.. i returned empty handed.. it was a complete waste of time.. Well, the journey to trichy is roughly 1 and half houlrs from my home. While sitting in the bus, i made sure i dont occupy the window seat today!! but when i was returning back, i thought it would be silly to have this phobia.. afterall i have been sitting near the window since my childhood n just one incident in my adulthood shouldnot snatch away my sentimental attachment to the window seat.. thus, thinking about it, i boldly sat near my usual window seat and made sure that i dont have any tobacco spitter before me.. (i sat near the entrance of the bus).. now feeling happy about avoiding any sort of oddities, i sat with a triumphant smile on my face and enjoyed the scenic beauty outside.. but to my horror, the bus got crowded at the very next stop. Usually ladies enter from the front gate of bus and the gents from the back.. A lady with a cute little girl entered the bus..

Being a very good person at heart, i offered to help the lady and she gave her daughter to me.. she sat on my lap but kept crying.. i love kids and i just love to handle them and manage to bring smile on their face.. so i started talking to this crying baby.. After knowing her name (which was "Angel") i started my conversation that i usually have with every kid..she was wearing a pink frock with a white rose on it.. i praised the dress for sometime which distracted her from her crying.. like a baby i asked her where did she buy the beautiful dress from??.. and came the instantaneous reply- "From shop!!!" ( god, i did not know that dresses are sold in shops!).. so i asked her about the shoes that she wore.. I asked her where did she buy the shoes from ( expecting the answer to be "From shop" again ) but this time she replied- " Mom bought it".. so i asked her where did SHE buy them from, n thi

s kid replied-"ask my mom!" .. end of conversation. i thought i would continue it if she would have answered-"from shop" again, so that i could confuse the kid between the shoe shop and the dress shop.. but Nooo.. the kids are getting smarter these days..

After sometime, i could sense that the girl was about to cry again as she started making her twisted moves to get down my lap.. to distract her, i started showing her the shops on the roadside.. the flower shop, the shoe shop, the fruits & vegis shop n came the series of wine shop.. i kept mum for the time being.. this girl did not pay attention to the shops i had been showing her till now but promptly saw outside when i didnot say anything.. "What are these??" , she asked me pointing towards the series of TASMAC bars that were on the roadside.. i was wondering what to say (gicing pressure to my nervous system and all my neurons) and i replied, "Shops!" without any further explanation.. A smirk on my face for having been victorious to the wits of the kid!.. 

My lap has a magic.. whoever sits on it sleeps for sure..(even the laptop slept & thats why i had to give it for servicing!).. dont worry, they dont sleep forever..this girl slept on my cozy lap with a smile across her face.. i felt triumphant for the third time in bus( making a crying kid comfortably sleep on your lap is a victorious thing!) ..i laid back and started wondering about the future of this girl.. will she be a doctor? an engineer? an ordinary woman? or.... will she be the dirty lady whom i encountered yesterday!!! i was imagining this girl's teeth stained red with tobacco and drooling red fluid on

 my pants.. i did not finish imagining it when i felt warm.. 

it was the warmth given by the girl.. i could feel the warmth getting warmer and warmer with time and suddenly i realised that it was indeed the warmth given by "Angel".. in the form of piss!!!.. now i felt cooler and cooler with the wind blowing hard from the entrance door.. ever wondered why people dont stand at the entrance when you desperately want them to?? i was cursing myself for not getting up before my stop ... i handed over the girl to her mother and she occupied my place..

i got down at my stop with my wet pant.. i was walking towards my house with a dilemma.. should I ever sit in the window seat again??? and i decided yes.. atleast to share the incidents on the blog.. what do you say ;) ???

Moral- get up a few minutes before your stop comes..

looking inside the window...

I love travelling in bus, especially in Tamil Nadu. I like to view the green land with paddy and i enjoy the cold wind hitting my face. I always prefer sitting near the window. But i learnt a biiiiig lesson today. . .

well. .  I have to travel in bus daily. My college is 20 minutes away from my home but i dont get window seat on my way to college. If my stars are at the zenith, then i manage to enter the bus and get sandwiched between many people. My nose is extremely sensitive & early in the morning, my olfactory gland gets mute to this weird combination of different deo sprays (brut,akx,park ave...blabla) , smell of drool n sweat, n in worst cases it has a typical vomit smell indicating that the guy standing next to me had boozed a lot the previous night but dint brush n bathe in the morning!!!! So i manage to reach college (successfully spoiling the crease on my pants n soiling my shoes. :) ) 

Many things happen on the way to college and one thing made me wonder today. it is semester hols now, so the bus was not crowded. I got my favourite window seat today n at the next stop the bus got filled & a lady 'A' entered ( trust me, nobody can be dirtier n freakin illiterate than her!!) her teeth stained red with the paan n tobacco.. she gave me a stare to leave my seat for her.. i pretended not to understand that n left the issue (but what i did not realise was the blow i was about to get!). 

The seat before mine was occupied by a man and a decent woman ;) this lady asks the man to swap places so that she could sit in that 3 seater. this made me wonder.. why cant ladies sit next to a man or a boy. the other day i faced the same thing with a 60 year old lady who denied to sit next to me. (God!! i cant even imagine to touch her, pinching n harassing was out of question!!!) it is strange that ladies here are very conservative.  so coming back to this lady 'A'.. one thing popped up my perverted mind.. what if the lady was a lesbian??? i pitied the decent woman in my next thought.. :( but my dirty mind raised another question.. ;) What if the decent woman was also a lesb??? ( even if she was, she wont prefer such a dirty partner!!) yeah, this question has been nagging me for quite a long time. many times, ladies or even gents insist on sitting next to the same gender to avoid discomfort. i want to ask, "what will happen if the person with whom they insist to sit, turns out to be a homosexual??" (now the harassment will be more than u can ever imagine.. n worst of all, the trouble is invited by the seeker of the seat!!!)

leaving apart my perverted thoughts i look at this dirty lady 'A' again thinking how hard would i have to try to get that dirty!!! she gives some weird expressions first ( the face is twisted in all directions n the tongue in her mouth is rolling as if it is enjoying a roller coaster ride!!) n then she advances near the window n... pachaaaak!!!!!!! 

the next instant i was staring at my own shirt bought at Pantaloons.. it got a new design of red and bottle green sprayed near my shoulder.. i was sitting there gritting my teeth.. i was sure that surya ( my sister) is going to kill me!! she bought it for dad but i wore it.. for the first & last time!!

Unable to shout and unable to cry, I sat there waiting for my stop which came in just few minutes.. it was my fault.. I should have stood up before my stop came.. but NO.. i wanted to enjoy the window seat a bit longer and this time i enjoyed it with an illiterate designer who gave a new outfit to me.. I got down the bus thinking if i should still occupy the window seat!!! phew..i cursed the lady..( a brahmin bramachari curse!!) that she will be harassed by a lesbian one day on window seat!!!