Nosy all day! !! !!!

Achoo... well.. I am sitting here writing this post with running nose. only god knows where i kept my hand kerchief cuz m wiping my nose on the bed sheet now.. mmm mmm.. it feels so soft to my nose..what is this anyway???? well..it was my sisters soft linen bed sheet which she newly bought...but wait..what is it doing on my bed????? who cares..After the groping effort to understand the reason, i decide to have a hair cut! wat a dumass idea to have hair cut with running nose!! but i still do it !!

I go to the shop n.....damn it. before i could enter, i sneeze..not once or twice..but 6 times in a spree.. what is it? some atomizer fit in my nose?? the barber was holding a spray in hand to wet the customers hair....but it wasnt needed any more cuz my nose did the work for him. i sit next to a guy reading news paper. He turns d page n there it is- "Prevent H1N1!!". he gets nervous n leaves the shop immediately. i wipe my nose with my hanky n lo!!it was there in my pocket all this time n i was using sister's bed sheet!!! m sure she loves her brother n wont mind it!!!

Now this running nose has two types. One is the thick phlegm that has that yellowish tinge n very viscous. On the other hand i had this clear watery one which ran like tap water n was involuntary. No matter how much i breathe in hard, it would run down like a river. so i sit with this on that barber's chair, wiping my nose one last time. (Reciting dhanvantri mantra to save me from any embarrassment..)

i managed to divert my attention towards the TV.. i saw this cartoon about vikata kavi asking goddess durga- " How do you manage running nose with thousand heads!!"well..thats indeed a thought provoking question!!! i got lost in my own thoughts imagining top shot Actress sneezing n wiping the phlegm in the middle of the shooting a dance!!! did they invent naaku-mukka song that way??? :p or setting up a sting operation to capture a politician digging the nose n wiping it in under his colleagues desk!!!

my thoughts were interrupted when this tiny spec of hair got into my nose!!! n shit... its irritating my nostrils now. i was already having this Ganga-jamuna running down, now this triggered my immune response to double the activity !! If only i could construct a dam under my nose, it would have saved thousands of farmers from committing suicide n there would not have been a cavery issue ever!!!! sighs!!!

...its shaving time now!!! i m like-"whaaaaat!".... best part is that you have to keep your head in tilted direction which helped me in holding my phlegm inside d nose. but wait. what did i tell him?? to trim my mush?? am i insane? n there came this trimmer n all d hair went straight up the nose.. i get up n....achoo achoo achoo achoo... gave one last glance to my hanky.. n what the hell was that???!!! i could make a wig out of those hairs!! bloody hell.. i leave the place n go home...

Sister-" Mommy, i guess spilled the agar solution on bed sheet while making jelly for the project.. but how come i dont remember it.. Am i suffering from amnesia mommy???"

Mom-" No sweet heart. it must have been your bro"

Sis-" Why????Whats up wid him?? !@#$%^&**()

Mom-" Hes been Nosy all day :) "

Sis-" :O whaaaaaaat!!!!.. yieeeeekssssss...what the hell does he think is this?? just because it is pink doesnt mean that he considers it as his girl's panties.. ewwwwwww...hw cud he wipe the nose on this.. i bought this precious barbie print n you r telling me that he wiped his phlegm on it!!!! aaaarrrrrgggg & look where has he wiped it!!!!!!!! just on her privates!!!....grrrrrrrr...he better pay back ...." the voices trailed off.. it sounded like an orchestra.. standing on the doorstep, i make up my mind to wander out in the rain!!! :) ever wondered y it rains?? well, someone musta got nosy up there too!!! :P

Charlie chaplin said-" i cry in the rain so that people cant see my tears!" i say-" i roam in the rain so that i dont have to wipe my nose again n again!!! :)

Was it a dream????????

Lecturer- "Shrini, are u ready with your seminar?"

Me- ( is he nuts? i already took it yesterday.. oww wait wait .. was it the dream?? oh mann i had performed so well.. ahh, it definitely was a dream.. reason- lecturer was wearing a saree..!!! shit.. ) " yes sir".wait. did i prepare for it in reality???? what is the topic???

Well, this is what has been happening with me for the past few days. Lecturers stop teaching and load us with seminars.. I was too overloaded.. If only i had been named Herbie, i could use- "Herbie fully loaded" the only thing that was common b/w me n Herbie was, seminars were DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!

Amidst all these confusions, i woke up this monday morning at 4 with a sudden gasp.. fish.i forgot to prepare for today's seminar.. spent the sunday watching movie.. wtf.. i log on to the computer with delirium .. all my brain instructed was- switch on to the internet IMMEDIATELY!!!! and dats what i did.. but wait.... WHAT IS THE TOPIC???? b4 that... WHAT SUBJECT DUDE???? it took me a minute to realise what was happening.. i was again dreaming about taking one seminar.. oh no.. not again.. i somehow managed to surf through some topics for safe side.. I reach college.. I happen to cross that lecturer..

After struggling with lots of should & shouldn't, i managed to ask him

Me-" Sir, I was wondering if you had asked me to take seminar on sterilisation quipments"

Him-"!@#$%^*. No shrini..We are not having seminar on family planning. ha ha.." (the poorest joke i ever heard u know!)

Me-Phew. thank god. i am safe. weakly smiling for his so called joke.

Him-"You were supposed to take on infectious disease of Type 4 safety level and recombinant vector vacines for them"

Me-"Type 4 Whaaaaat???????"!@#$%^&*()

Are they crazy???????

Once a girl lost her best friend and the interviewer asked her- "How are you feeling?"..

Bloddy hell. what kind of question is that?? of course people will feel terrible at the loss of a friend. Do you expect her to say" thankfully the bitch died. now i can take her boyfriend, her shoes, her lipstick, mascara n what not???!".

And sometimes people make dumb statements. for example the cookery show..

"& finally, topping"s" should be added above this & it is ready to be served :) :) :) (the stupid smiles from the chef!)". Now tell me, how on earth do you put the topping below the dish?? doesnt the word topping itself convey the meaning???

Here is the common question asked to all the actors on the release of their new movie.

"How do you feel?". Silence. I felt like puking when i heard the plot. Although the script sucked, i had to sign it cuz i was bankrupt!!! N i did not eat for past, i dunno, hw many months.. but had to pretend that i am dieting for the upcoming film, which i did not sign then. " i feel great. its a completely different feeling. i thoroughly enjoyed the character" followed by usual mugged up dialogue.

"How do you find Y, your co-star?" . silence. Oh dat bitch has a lot of attitude. let me catch hold of her once. i will wear a mask and beat the shit outta her. "She is very joyful and made me feel very comfortable. it was a new experience" of course it had to be new. every actress has new way of torturing people.

The worst part is that we sit like fools infront of the TV and smile hearing at the response. I have become so accustomed to it that i move my lips to the dialogues along with the interviewee on TV..

But sometimes, people turn out to be really funny.

Interviewer to Akshay Kumar on the release of his new movie-"Blue"

Int- "I heard it is your first Blue film.. is it true???"

Akshay-!@#$%^&*

:)

Diwali wishes again!

Diwali Wishes...

Just a second...

There is this famous saying, "Time & tide waits for none"..well.. who gives a shit to the tide unless it strikes me in the form of tsunami.. time.. well over the years many changes have come up.. with time people change, many new words get added to dictionary n lots of things happen.. & one such thing is the value of time. if I ask you how long is one second, what would be your answer???????

Well.. It varies from person to person & here are a few examples

1) My alarm goes off in the morning at 6 and i put to snooze n say to myself "i will get up in one second only to find out that its already 8 & its too late to take bath now.. so I decide to spray the deo n get ready in another "SECOND" (which roughly takes 15 minutes!)

2) My mom doesnt allow me to step out of house empty stomach.. she always wants me to have breakfast but the problem is, the breakfast doesnt get ready on time.. mom-" cheenu, it will be ready in one second..jus wait for one second.. eat it in a second n go.. u will reach college in a second!!!"

2) i reach college(ofcourse in 20 minutes..gosh did u actually believe my mom???..even the fastest jet wont take me to coll in one second!) and find out that my friend is in similar situation (happy to have a company at last) He asks me to hold his books for "A SECOND" so that he can tie his shoe lace n i find out that the second was stretched till we reach the class..

3) i raise a doubt in the lecture n she says..Just a second.. i will refer and tell you tomorrow!!!!( wow..i never knew dat one day had one second.. who the fuck teaches that there are 86400 seconds in a day???")

4)We friends assemble in 11.10 break and my friend gets a phone call n he asks for excusing him for a second.." hey..wil b back in a second k" n the phone call takes away the whole break time..

5)on the phone call, his girl friend starts the convy & in between another gal crosses her.. this girlfriend then says,"hey sweety..jus gimme a second k." poor guy waits in dilemma for another half an hour only to hear d convy of those two gals abt the new footwear she is wearing!!!! or some bitching abt some other girls for another second!!!

6)i take a seminar and promise that i will conclude it in one second..(oh c'mon every one knows hw much is one second..!)

so i finally end my day and come back home.. recently there had been a fest where we were getting pizza and burgers for 3 days(thankfully this wasnt for a second).. i happened to parcel it for my sister.. she was going to tell me a story (school level gossip) in one second and i popped up this parcel of pizza and burger.. trust me, she almost fainted!!! poor girl.. n she said- "Cheenu, wil tell u the details now..jus gimme a second to recover..but she did stick to the time n resumed back.. :) i patiently heard her story which was slightly modified..cuz all i could here was "GGaaaa gaa boooobooo gooo babooo shooo thaaaa" what else do u hear wen a person stuffs the burger n tries to speak!! did u think my ear got stuffed with wax n needs cleaning????

now she had this love and affection flowing for me cuz of this noble gesture of mine.. so she decided to make a glass of cold drink(tang) "Shri , i will get a tangy glass made for u in just a second.. but this time, she dint stick to it.. i kept waiting for an hour and resorted to sleep.. i called her to get a pillow for me.. she said.."hey pl wait for a second n sleep.. i have already made 2 glasses of it" she does gets me d pillow but not the juice.i slept n got up next morning to find out that she slept near the glass of juice!! i think she must have decided to doze off for a second and ended up stretching it whole night!!!!!

so tell me..how long is a second???? :)

Forgive but dont forget...

You forgive me for liking you too much,
And I'll forgive you for not liking me enough.

You forgive me for missing you so,
And I'll forgive you for being so cold.

You forgive me for the loud racing of my heart,
And I'll forgive you for not hearing it.

You forgive me for playing your games,
And I'll forgive you for toying with my emotions.

You forgive me for finding you so attractive,
And I'll forgive you for not noticing.

You forgive me for raising you up so high,
And I'll forgive you for bringing me down so low.

You forgive me for wanting to be with you,
And I'll forgive you for avoiding me.

You forgive me for being so pathetic,
And I'll forgive you for taking advantage of it.

You forgive me for not being able to let go,
And I'll forgive you for never having latched on.

You forgive me for having hopes and dreams,
And I'll forgive you for crushing them.

Forgiveness brings inner peace.
Do we have a deal?